Private moments - part III

I am ready to go.. a bus was waiting for the girls at the school. As usual, I am still waiting for the girls. I always wait for women. Things hasn't change much since my childhood days.

"5 more minutes doggy boy..."

Twenty minutes later, we are finally on the way to the school to board the bus. I have driven to the school probably a few hundred times and yet somehow whenever I am in the car with dragon, the power struggle for navigating starts immediately.

"I think you should take the Pantai expressway.." she says

"No, I am going to the Federal highway, it's early"

It's a no win situation. If there's any trouble on the Federal highway, she'll say "I told you to take the expressway.." If I picked the expressway, which I don't want to do, and it's jammed up, she'll say, "You should have stuck with your instincts."

Like most decisions in life, this is one best not to argue and rethink again. I just have to decide, stick with it and move on.

So I take the expressway, and it's jammed. Now I am mad at myself, she's mad, my daughter's mad and the car grows unusually quiet.

We finally reached the school and I pull into the parking lot. My daughter sees her girlfriend and ran over to talk. Dragon stays in the car with me.

"I am going to spend the whole weekend with thirty little girls and their moms," she moans.. "What was I thinking?"

"You mean you'd rather stay with me?"

"No. I just wonder what was I thinking.."

"Our daughter wanted to do this. You like to do things with her together. I am jealous. I wish I could go.." I lied...

"Okay, you go. " She looked at me in the eyes.

"Ah... I love to but, you know, I have already made plans."

"Oh, really, what plans?"

"Oh, nothing much. First I'll take care of all the items in your list. Very important. I'll probably work on the roof and the backdoor a little. Then maybe, I'll look for some Korean ladies, get a massage - a real massage - and invite the pretty 25 year old twins next door for a sunset hot tub.."

"Well, have fun," dragon says, unfazed.

"Okay, so maybe I won't get the massage," I say.

"But you will play music really loud, because I don't let you when I am home. And watch movies until 4 in the morning, sleep all day and eat horrible food."

She knows me so well. Maybe I can just leave the uneaten casserole in the refridgerator and she'll understand.

"Have fun. I love you." she says, and give me a long, soulful kiss clearly designed to make me forget the twins next door.

With that, we get out, unload the bags and join the other kids and their parents. I am not sure i would want to be the driver on the bus. I can see it now: Thirty women going - "Left. Left! No... right..turn right... No, take the highway.. Brake..."..

Even more worrying, I would be distracted, specifically by Lucy Wong's butt. Nice. Lucy Wong's daughter is in the same class with my daughter. I used to see her at the gym at times - along with some of the other moms and dads. She looks great in her makeup. Maybe I would want to be the driver.

I give the girls a big hug and kiss and watch them climb aboard. I also peek around dragon to catch another glimpse of Lucy.

Private moments - part II

While dragon was trying to save wolfie the dog from my menu of edible dog food, and keep amending my list of what to do's... I have been trying very hard to put other things in order. I thought it was easy for me to be alone for a couple of days while both of them dissappeared into the camping trip.

Out of nowhere, my daughter announces that she doesn't want to go camping. Great! that really bums me out. I've been looking forward to being alone for the weekend. Dragon's also bummed because now that means a little argument. And as I expected, the girls begin snapping at each other. I would like to step in and try to stop it but that would be wrong, because they will find a way to blame me for everything. This goes on until Dragon looks at me and says, "I've got such a headache.."

"OK, I'll go talk to her.."

I look at my daughter and whisper softly.. "Sweetie, 50 bucks if you go.."

That takes care of the problem. Dragon went back to the 'to do' list again.. "Oh, and go see baby at mom's place before you go to sleep."

"We have a baby? Wait, we do have a baby. I've seen him. His name is.. baby.."

"Congratulations! You do live here. By the way, I left a chicken breast and thigh in the fridge for you..."

"That's sweet. But you know I'm not attracted to chicken.."

"... and the casserole. You just put the rice in that sauce, and add the peppers to it. Then you take off the chicken skin, cut the chicken into pieces.."

I am lost....

"... and put it in a frying pan, turn on the stove..."

Dragon plans meals for me. It's her way of being nice, but it ain't going to happen. I don't have the heart to tell her that I've already planned my favorite meal; a bologna sandwich. And none of that low fat, plasticine, leather looking garbage is ever going into my plate. But that's what I am going to feed Wolfie ..tsk...tsk... save me the money from buying the dog food in the first place..

Private moments - part I

My daughter is going for a camp in the weekend with her classmates and dragon is going to accompany her like all her friend's mum. It is a wecoming news because I have always wanted to be alone for a few days.. just by myself..

That morning, before I get to send them to school, dragon rushed to the kitchen and blocked my view with a sheet of paper she thrust in front of my face.

"What's that?" I ask.

"It's the list of things I need you to do while we're gone."

One part of me resents this because it takes me away from the things I thought I was going to do. The other part of me.. resents it also.

"Don't forget to call the plumber," she says. "He is free in the weekend. Don't try to fix the toilet yourself again like the mess you did last time. Anyway, I have hid your toolbox so don't bother. And remember to pick up the clothes from the dry cleaner." She means her clothes from the dry cleaner; my fancy t-shirts are all machine washable.

"Feed the dog"

"You have to tell me this?"

"I know how much you hate the smell, but both of you live together.. wolfie never complained about your smell..."

"That's because that animal can't talk.."

I have been wondering if my dog will graze the grass like an old goat and there's plenty of grass in the garden for a buffet anytime...

"And do you remember about the medication?"

"Okay, tell me again.."

"Wolfie eats 3 times a day. Half of the can in the morning, quarter of the can in the afternoon with just kibbble, no water. And a quarter can at night. And make sure he gets outside."

"He has been eating that lot? No wonder I get less chunk of meat for my dinner nowadays.. now what about the medicine?"

"Make sure he takes the pills. Two pills at the first feeding, two pills at the second feeding and put that gel on at the evening feeding.."

"Okay, I've got it. Two cans of dog food in the morning.."

"Can't you hear me? Half a can in the morning!"

"I was just having a little fun.."

I don't know why she worries. The dog will get feed, even if I don't do it exactly as she would have. Wolfie may get his gel in the morning and with all the pills at one go, and I'll get him some cat food cause it is cheaper. I promise he'll at least be alive when the girls get home.